Jon E. Parker & The Sessionaires
Songsmiths & Notaries Public
Your house will burn down, You’re in big trouble man.
Sessionaires (se’∫ən’ē˚z) n pl (i) a creative (usually musical) collective; a collaborative spirit or ethos; a co-operative of individuals committed to innovation and experimentation in music, poetry and humour; (ii) an obs form of trousers.
Founded in 1990, The Sessionaires have their roots in an earlier Horsham coterie Jon E Parker Presents Businessmen on Bicycles whose adventures are related on this very website.
Inspired by the Businessmen’s ever-changing aural environment of soundscape enveloped chanson, Jon E envisaged the ensemble as a small full-time musical core tasked with originating inspiring concepts to energize an ever-changing roster of artists from multiple disciplines to implement his artistic vision.
The group’s first release, The Sunny Sessions, was warmly received and considered by critics to have exceeded even the high expectations generated by their association with the earlier popular beat combo.
Keen eyed readers will have noticed that the Sessionaires haven’t limited themselves to the artistic sphere and are in fact an outgrowth of a long established partnership of Notaries Public specialising in maritime arbitration and contract dispute. This is part of a tradition initiated by the firm’s founder, Lord Bingo of Bogsley, as a facet of his holistic approach to comoglifying the practice of law for the man on the Clapham omnibus (Note).
2013 saw the release of the latest Sessionaires project Vigiles Urbani (Lyrics, Video, Narratio) which in keeping with the band’s ethos of creative purity has been some 27 years in the making. They also continue to be available for Notary work of all kinds, at highly competitive rates.
Biographical mutton dressed by Simon Cadde.
The Sunny Sessions
The Sunny Sessions is widely considered to the finest achievement of the original incarnation of the Sessionaires and a pinnacle of the European melodic tradition.
On first glance a wistful celebration of summers past, repeated listens reveal a subtle exploration of the human condition in which this pantheon of popsters tackle the timeless themes of fear, faith, isolation, love, loss, and motorway maintenance.
Benefiting from unlimited licence, if not budget, to experiment under the benevolent guidance of Jon E. Parker the results are entertaining yet challenging, life-affirming whilst thought-provoking, reassuringly familiar but disconcertingly ambiguous. In all worthy of it’s status as an overcooked masterpiece.
Released to the public in 1990 the album’s roots have been traced as far back as 1987 and it is thought to be an evolution of the final, unrealised, Businessmen on Bicycles project. Though in common with so much else concerning The Sessionaires this provenance is disputed.
“I was walking round to Simon’s and it occurred to me that there were a lot of bumblebees about. So we wrote a song about it.” Rob
Motorway MaintenanceLyrics
“I was walking down along Richmond Road in Horsham and parked on the corner as I turned into Gordon Road was a lorry with a Motorway Maintenance sign painted on it’s rear end. So we wrote a song about it.” Rob
He Loves Only YouLyrics
“I was wading across a brook contemplating what would now be a social media relationship status update and the circumstances around it when I thought, “we could write a song about this”. So we wrote a song about it.” Simon
Biggles In A BasketLyrics Video
“I was walking across a field when I saw a hot air balloon float by and I thought how peculiar that such a romantic form of transport wasn’t more celebrated. So we wrote a song about it.” Simon
Legal Services
Jon E Parker and The Sessionaires were established in 1880 and have been fully licensed Notaries Public since 1911.
We will prepare, attest and certify all forms of documentation for use in all common law and overseas jurisidictions. Our particular speciality is commercial maritime arbitration, including:
- Bills of Lading and Contracts of Carriage
- Bottomry
- Contracts of Affreightment (Hague-Visby compliant)
- Charterparties
- Demurrage
- Droits of Admiralty
- Godwottery
- Fleechment
- Letters of Credit
- Maritime Lien
- Sea Waybills
Jon E Parker and The Sessionaires are appointees of the Court of Faculties and are fully indemnified against professional negligence, pecuniary loss and bad vibes. We are contactable by Telex 21970 JPATS.
Lyrics, Credits & More
Vigiles Urbani
If you’re on fire, if you’re burning up
If you’re on fire, if you’re burning down
Call this chap tell him giddy-up
Call this chap tell him come to town
Don’t tumble down, no need to frown
Everything’s good with a fireman around
If you’re burning going up in smoke
If you’re burning sending smoke into the sky
Call this chap he ain’t the sort to joke
Call this chap he won’t drive on by
No word of a lie, no one has to die
With a fireman around: the extinguisher guy!
If you see a red truck going up the road
If you see a red truck with a ladder on the top
Give a little wave at the fireman load
Give a little wave but don’t ask him to stop
If there’s a light on the top going on and off
Then the firemen are heading to a place where it’s hot
Coastguard’s good if you’re lost at sea
Ambulance is good for a cardiac arrest
Call those chaps if they’re the people you need
But if your problem is a fire though a fireman is best
When the flames are manifest there’s only one man I suggest
And a fireman also looks good in just his vest
AF Harrold – Sprechgesang
James Magee – Piano
James Calderwood – Acting
Bumble Bee Song
Bumblebees, there’s alot of you about
Bumblebees, you make me scared to go out
Bumblebees, Bumblebees
Bumblebees, the sun is shining now
But Bumblebees, I’m down when you’re around
Bumblebees please keep away from me
Bumblebees, please stay among the leaves
Bumblebees, Bumblebees
Bumblebees don’t make me feel your sting
I would not want to be your final fling
So stay away this lovely summer’s day
And Bumblebees, friends we will remain
Vocals – Ian Wyatt
Backing Vocals – Michele & Amanda Scott
With The Irrelevant Strings, Bombastic Brass and Gratuitous Harmonicas
Keyboards specially rehearsed by Jon E. Parker
Motorway Maintenance
You must have seen us we’re Motorway Maintenance
We work on Motorways the whole day through
We’ve got problems not the least of them drivers
Try to knock us down, that’s what they do
Wearing orange to enhance visibility
We drive a car with a flashing light
We’re just trying to improve the facilities
Placing cones in the dead of night
Contraflow, contraflow, got to use the contraflow
Contraflow, contraflow, got to use the contraflow
Here we are we’re Motorway Maintenance
It’s our job to get the traffic through
Don’t blame us we’re Motorway Maintenance
We’re just men with a job to do
You must have seen our digging machinery
We always lease from JCB
We really trust their reliability
They get us home in time for tea
We’re taking care of our extremities
Sturdy gloves a necessity
Hefty hats we wear with alacrity
Heavy boots to protect our feet
Contraflow, contraflow, got to use the contraflow
Contraflow, contraflow, got to use the contraflow
Here we are we’re Motorway Maintenance
It’s our job to get the traffic through
Don’t blame us we’re Motorway Maintenance
We’re just men with a job to do
Da da da M23
Da da da M17
Vocals by The Classic Mushroom Singers
He Loves Only You
He loves only you, he told me last night
His love is so true, but what about you
He’s so in love with you
Can’t you see it’s true
He loves only you
He told me last night
His love is so true
But what about you
But she’s in love with you
And it makes her blue
Oh why can’t you see
It’s you that I love
I’m making my plea to heaven above
It’s breaking my heart when we are apart
I love you not your friend
Will this pain never end
Why is love so cruel?
Why must we act like fools?
He loves only you
Don’t say that it’s true
He told me last night
No that can’t be right
His love is so true
That’s why I’m blue
But what about you?
I’m loving you
(Repeat to fade)
Vocals by Dominic Thayre & Michele Scott with able support from Amanda Scott.
Biggles In A Basket
Fly with me soon, in my balloon
Up in the sky, flying so high
In my balloon
Oh, I feel fine, up in the sky
Floating with you, through the white and the blue
In my balloon
We’ll say cheerio, to the people below
Then we’ll fly to the stars, Venus and Mars
In my balloon
David Potter (Michelin Balloon)
‘Daring’ Dougie Simms (Goodyear Blimp)
Jonny Craig (Next Milton)
Keith Roberts (R.101)
The Late ”Ginger’ Matthews (Hindenburg)
With Whistling Jim McNeil
“What are those clouds, Ginger?”
”Strato Cumulus, Inexperienced Balloonist”
“What’s the altitude, Ginger?“
“Pretty high lad, pretty high”
“Gosh. How often have you been up, Ginger?”
“More times than you’ve had hot dinners, sonny”
“What’s this made of then, Ginger?”
“Wicker”
“What’s this bit of string do?“
“Don’t…”
The final words of Ginger Matthews and an unknown inexperienced balloonist, as transcribed from the in-
flight recorder shortly before their tragic deaths.
Sally’s Friends
I know this girl
She’s out of this world
She’s got some friends
But I haven’t counted them
We’re Sally’s friends, We’re Sally’s friends
We’re born again Christians
We’re Sally’s friends
She loves all anthropods
She likes to talk to God
She’ll drive you round the bend
But you should meet Sally’s friends
We’re Sally’s friends, We’re Sally’s friends
We’re born again Christians
We’re Sally’s friends
Cain and Abel, Mary in the stable
Mind those nails, last supper on the table
Don’t get cross man, God’s still the Boss Man
Ku Klux Klan burning people when they can
Choir boys up for rent, sexually deviant
Ten Commandments needing an amendment
Bells in steeple irritate the people
Too doctrinal, rather have a Bacchanal
They’re Sally’s friends
Both of them
Vocals by Dominic Thayre, Michele & Amanda Scott
Ku Klux Klaxon — John Lenihan
With the Saddam Hussein Guitar Orchestra
Death On The Clyde
We’re going on a honeymoon
We’re going in June
We’ll be taking a room by the blue lagoon
I’ll be crooning this tune beneath the silvery moon
We’ll watch the Scandaroons
In the afternoon
Forming demilunes when it’s opportune
Do Be De Do Do, De Do Be De Do
Why do we have to go?
It’s great in Glasgow, it’s only five below
We’ll go down to the Clyde and take formaldehyde
That’s how my mother died
And I cried
Though young Conservatives
Politically purgative
Mentally vegetative
Their love was agglutative
We’ll leave the octuplets
That you had for a bet
Delivered by the Vet at the maisonette
While I was in Tibet with the architect
I wrote a rondolet
On a beautiful day
Drinking Chardonnay and cafe au lait
In a Chevrolet near the Bay of Biscay
I still don’t want to go
I’d prefer Mexico, or even Borneo
I want to do him in while on the dunnikin
I’ll give him catechin
The feudal right to maritage
Extinct except in Stevenage
Exclusive to the privileged
Who manufacture sausages
Those were the days my friend
I thought they’d never end
They drove me round the bend
Da da da da da da
Vocals by Fred Bright & Michele Scott with the Classic Mushroom Singers, Irrelevant Strings & Bombastic Brass
It is necessary before beginning this analysis to make a few preparatory remarks for the benefit of those listeners who are coming to the work of the Sessionaires for the first time. Primarily the group’s work falls into the general episteme of post-modern music, that is to say that it refuses to conform to traditional teleological or heuristic narrative models.
An example will perhaps clarify things. The title of the piece Death on the Clyde would lead a listener of ‘traditional’ orientation to expect the ensuing musical discourse to follow the backward moving narrative strategy which has as its locating a priori the liberal democratic legal principle of habeas corpus (the works of Agatha Christie are exemplary archetypes here). The criminalistic expectation initiated by the title, however, is immediately subverted by the opening line: “we’re going on a honeymoon”. The teleology is reversed! Instead of moving backwards the momentum of the song is seen to be projecting itself towards a hopeful future.
In an almost Joycean manner, however, we begin to see that the true art of the Sessionaires lies in their ability not to draw simple irony by deviating from a consensus of moral opinion, but rather to exploit the auto-referentiality of the song itself, to heap paradox upon paradox — witness the glorious, almost transcendental, ambiguity of the opening lines of the fourth verse:
“We’ll leave the octuplets that you had for a bet
while I was in Tibet with the architect”
Of course at first this sounds like an almost conventional expression of the paradigm of male chauvinism — the primary male voice expressing its own potency through boasts of virility and callousness, a classic example of the self-perpetuating phallocentric consciousness. And yet the piece will not allow the closure of meaning here, and again conventions are open to subversion — for the male voice of authority goes on to announce that it has run away from the proof of its own reifying potency — with an architect, an occupation primarily reserved, in a patriarchal society, for men! Can this be true? Phallocentrism afraid of itself?!
If this is the meaning (and in typically brilliant style the authors of the piece refuse to give us clues as to which meaning is the ‘real’ meaning) then we are exploring an area of the artistic consciousness which has previously had no voice, but which through this music has been allowed to speak.
In such speech, however, lies a deadly danger; this surely is the message of the end of the song. Suddenly we are bombarded with an extract from the chorus of Those were The Days; the realisation that popular music is inter-textual is dropped upon us like a bombshell, all songs are merely re-writings of all other songs and in such a context meaning becomes meaningless, as indeed do the lyrics of the song – the repetitive “da da da” representing the formless sounds that proceed before our inclusion in the super-ego of society facilitated by our acquisition of speech.
Truly this majestic work of melodic stone masonry is finally and irrevocably a testament to the frustrated consciousness of the artist in the post-modern world.
Prof. Anthony Thosser UCLA 08.18.90
Videos
The following videos predate the 2013 remastering of The Sessionaires music and the sound quality is of even lower standard.
